Kaboom!!!

Is it supposed to set you free?
I mean the truth?
I just heard the man kill himself.
The cold steel turned into hell before his brain scattered.
But has it erased the deed?
Has it liberated the sickened soul of an eternal murderer?
And yet how many times shall I hear this gunshot again through my whole existence?
Furthermore will my conscience be as clear as the emptiness of his skull?
This I ask of you, sweet one?
Why did you ask me to let go and live peacefully?
Must I bear this moral murder in my being for as long as I shall live?
What about my promise to shelter you in my arms for the remaining of our consecutive lives?
My thoughts are so scrambled and yet I am so aware of what has been done?
He condemned us to hate each other just by the fact of being in love after waiting for so long to find the courage to face this fact?
I mean would you still marry me?
Would you just do it to punish me for his sin?
What would our children be?
Would they be revenge?
My bed is so empty without your answer and my cells call out for your breath.
Cover me I am shaking.
Hold me I am fainting.
I don't know I may even be crying.